2025 keeps throwing curveballs, and here I am again, writing another article when I swore the last one (“Still Figuring It Out“) would be my closer for the year. But journaling doesn’t wait for permission. It’s become my way of scratching the itch; aside from talking to myself, it helps me spill thoughts spontaneously, no agenda, just whatever surfaces. This time, the thread feels like questioning solidity, how “solid” is solid, really? You declare, “I am this, I am that,” but life scratches at it, revealing cracks.
The Phase of Falling Over
I’ve been reading pieces that echo my headspace, like one I read recently with the same title as my last post. It nailed this current vibe: falling over, knocking things down, looking everything over without clarity. Doubt lingers everywhere. One day, you’re riding high, having great weeks at work and feeling unstoppable, then a performance review comes in, and you’re average, and your whole month deflates. Or worse: an interview for something you eat, breathe, live (like issuing banks, my bread and butter) slips away because your mind blanks. It happened to me recently. Crazy, right? But it is what it is. These moments expose the not-knowing, not ignorance, but a raw awareness of uncertainty.
Clueless, But Not Waiting
My default used to be waiting, hoping I somehow get it all before trying to tread a path. But the truth is, I can get it done; I just need to pay attention to myself. So now? More clueless articles, more out-of-the-blue moves. Spontaneous, bodacious, even stupid daring things. I’ve done some this year; finances might cover the fallout, or they might not. We’ll see. Live more by doing more, defying the expected, switching things up. By my twenties’ end, maybe it’ll click. Or maybe not. Still clueless, still moving.
Here’s the Article I read if you’d like to read it as well: Still Figuring it Out
And here’s Mine: Still Figuring it out (2025)